The End of Year Reflection...

Watched both Night at the Museum n The Holiday today...

Everyone was telling me that The Holiday is a must-see..
Well.. I guess it's the "Love Actually" of this year...

hmmm..
Jude Law makes widowed men w 2 kids seem delectable...

Cameron Diaz makes being a psycho think-too-much bit*h seem sexy...

Jack Black makes an annoying always-talking-bout-his-interest-n-not-caring-if-u-give-a-shit kinda guy seem sweet...

Kate Winslet makes hanging out w ancient men seem cool....

Okie... besides all that... the show did make me tear...

And on the drive home... the realisation that the end of another year is looming... or rather the start of a new... hit me n set me thinking...

Sigh..

How can it be so quick?!??!

My scald-become-blister on my finger on a lonely Valentine's this year in Auckland is like soooo damn bloody fresh in my head....
It was like just yesterday...

My first biggy birthday party with all my frenz round me this year kept me feeling like I just entered the first quarter of the year...

Everyone knows how I hate New Years...
I always think that my world crumbles round me for the first half ... n i find love n meaning from the July segment on...

Then I realised...

this year is damn different lor...

I left Love at the end of the previous year....
n found meaning in the first quarter of the year while being single n partying w my frenz.....

Then Love found me in April n all was good... til the July segment where everything should usually go well...

I took a blogging vacation cos I was confused n basically "all over the shop" as we used to say...

I came back but w so much relationship problems n was extremely troubled like every other week at least...

By then... I have kinda disappeared from the radar of my close mates like Von n Deniz (whom I used to meet w like twice a month at least..)...
And have gone to bars to drink alone at least thrice....

Of cos the problems continued throughout til recently only lar... but I refused to whine on n on bout it on my blog cos it's pointless....
I complain to my frenz n i ignore what they say anyway...

Basically... I guess I know the answer to my dilemma all the time... so I just handle it my own way.. :)

And yes.... I spent Christmas in London again this year....
Exactly the same... depart on 24th n return on 27th...
Just different flight n different hotel...

And yes... I repeated the routine of getting drunk on various forms of alcohol w people I might not hang out w ever again...
And the sad sad part of putting up a strong front until I get back to my room n burst out in puke....

;p

Argh*#

NO wonder the deja vu..

And no blog n no pics bout my Christmases both years cos they were both pointless n stupid anyway... ptui* ;P

Anyway... I was gonna make my New Year Resolutions in this entry...
When I realised while rereading my entries as I was linking them up to this entry that I had broke mine last year...

Yeah.. I was going strong for at least the first half of the year with those 2 brilliant points going on n on in my head....
W renewed nail packages n facial packages n massages n waxes...

But I succumbbed still to bad boys n the toxic stuff they do to poison my life...
I failed at being a selfish lover n felt at one time to be at my lowest point n really wanted to quit fly life... ...

I failed at being a steadfast fren for those going thru crisises cos I was fighting my own battles...

Basically my break from all that "fucked up hoo-haa of the love-love stuff" was not long enough to prepare me for a hard one....

But hey... enough ranting... :)

I have a healthy n growing dog ....
Happy family n friends who love me back for who I am...
A job which has been smooth sailing in terms of inter personal relations ALL year...

And a relationship which is finally making headway (*fingers crossed*)

I'm ready to embrace the coming New Year with no more of the old time phobias...
W an open mind...
Cos the unexpected happened in 2006....

And I adore the #7...
who knows what's next for me man... : D

SmuakZ*
Happy end of year......
..................................................................

P/s: Just wanna thank Von for her text to me this Christmas...
Among the many(sigh.. at least got frenz who think of me).. hers stood out cos it contained just 3 words...
"I love you"

Gosh... almost teared cos no friend of mine (except lovers lar) have ever said that to me n made me feel all warm inside like that..

If u ever see this ger.. *Bigggy HuggggZ*!!!!! :)))))
Hope you had a nice Christmas with loads of yr frenz who like worship you lor!