N so it is...

I've been reading this blog n her posts on her recent break up brings back memories of my own...

Time flies...
N it's now April...
It's been 3 months since December.

It's strange how it's hard to be able to believe that time will heal wounds when bad things are happening...
N then on hind sight...
U look back n wonder .... y was it so hard then??

The memories have become so blurred, but reading DiDa's explicit conveyance of her broken emotions with such simple words stirred up mine.

The stages of : Accepting, expecting explanations, wondering y no explanations??, Doubts, so many of them, then anger, sadness, crying til no more tears...cold, emptiness, ..... hatred...... n then finally..... nothing....

I'm starting to be really convinced that the universe might just be full of men like such.
Selfish, non committal, selfish selfish selfish.

They promise the world when they want u. They will give u anything n everything.
Anything u say goes. Everything u say is right.
They run to the ends of the world for u.

They caress u tenderly, whisper sweet nothings in yr ear, smell yr hair sneakily n always makes sure u come first... be it in bed or not.

They tell u they miss u to bits, r reluctant to let u leave, n await eagerly for yr calls n replies to yr texts almost instantaneously even if they r up to their neck in shit.

The first few fights u have with him will have him conceding in defeat. Cos after all, u r always right.
That is... until... u really n truly have surrendered yr heart to him... trust him wholly n love him with all yr might.

And then....
the excuses n reasons come.

We start becoming a demanding bitch; with sky high expectations. "everything's bout you, you , n you!" they say of us.
Guess who put us so high up there in the first place???

We start being too sensitive n unreasonable.
Or did their threshold for us dip???

Their mobile phones start to grow legs n walked away from their side, for longer periods as time passes.
Sometimes, perhaps their phones turned mute too as ringing alarms r conveniently ignored.

I look back at my bad experiences n feel really tired all over again.
Can I really help it if I had turned cynical?

Any faith is bitter sweet n at every twist n turn, I expect the good things to come to an end.

So wat if they all say "Time will tell if I will really let u down".
The fact is, they had all let me down. Told me things that didn't materialise.

Oh yes, Dodo has severe trust issues with men... n not just the cheating kind of trust...
*grimace* ; \ humprf~