If only Trust can be Bought.. - Day 7

I disappeared to the Land of No Phone Reception of Seoul (cos i no got 3G phone mah) n am back...

I'm chilling...
I'm reformed...

Wat a married-to-a-cheated-on-her-b4-hubby fly mate said to me was true...
When a guy wants to lie... or cheat... there can be so many ways n means...
Do we girls really need to go see IT w our own eyes to believe it??

One more question.... Are white lies.... bad lies???

Or do u belong to the group of people who think that what you dunno can't hurt you??

I'm torn...
Cos I think it's only realistic to be Not able to know everything for sure...

BUT,
I still want to know FOR SURE...
See it w my own eyes...

Otherwise...I would be forever finding excuses for my guy..
Constantly in denial....

What's obvious for other people seem not to me... n the only way to remain sane is to tune those tots n also wat others think out...

(Well... Von.. only u know how I know... n how n wat i found out... so dun go publicising my secrets...
cos u will only make known women's ways to find out bout men's little white lies n put them on their guard... shhhhhhh~ ;D )

WAS it really?
REally??? REallyyyyyy!?!?!?!?!
*mock pull out hair action*

Sometimes I can really drive myself crazy..... from sleep deprived tiredness to wide awake paranoid...
Sighhhh... Oh well...

If only trust can be bought... purchased... n push those doubts away...
If only trust can be built overnight n make u believe everything he says from now on...

But I know...
There will still be moments where the doubts will creep in again n take over my senses n make me go crazy...
There will also still be moments when he gets weak n just prefer to avoid conflict.... n take the easy way out...

Sighh...
Sometimes I wish I no longer love the boy... then I can take the easy way out n not care bout whether it was the truth or not...
ARgH#*&^(&

One more question to self... :Did I forgive too easily???? -_______-"
FucccK...
........................................

One more thing to share w desolate, heartbroken souls...
Try finding some place where there's people round u yet u feel so far far away to get some relief from yr inner noise...
(Am i sounding melo-drama?) ;p

Clarke Quay by nite...
No more noise...
Just wind... n splashing rain...

Get away n do some soul searching n thinking lor....
Above is a suggestion... great view tooo!! (if u found the place I was at!! ;p )

All I know is.. the rain started pouring when I waited for it that fateful nite n it has been cold ever since...

I'm tired... Good night!! ; )