Practice makes Perfect!.... Sense.... -Day 4

I've got to blame the US$750 ginseng powder mommy's been feeding me these days...
I super awake even though i only slept a total of 3.5 hours in the past 24 hours...

If u wanna know... Mom n Dad went to Korea for holiday n they bought back exclusive Korea government Ginseng stuff for a grand total of... S$1000...

Wah lan...

But it's really good stuff!!

;D

Day 3 Blogger was down...
Much had happened n then.. unhappened...

First.. the Boy apologised for his atrocious behaviour attributing it to work n his workaholic nature...
the ever soft hearted me was willing to accept it...

Wat can i say? I got ultra high tolerance for shit...

So wat if he din pick up my calls when I was out alone at 2 plus am in the pouring rain?
So wat if he ignored my pleas for just to hear from him??

I'm such a stupid fool...

Day4 started w a good dream...
a good feeling...

N ended w the Boy's rubbish antics again...
Uncontactable, irresponsible, incorrigible... n totally uncaring...

so wat if his text said "You will always be most important!"

It warmed me for Day3... n cooled off when he disappeared w no phone reception at the end of Day4...

If I had the heart to, I would wanna disappear from him too.. n boy.. do I have my ways...

VOn asked me... "so wat.. you love him cos he willingly squeezed thru the crowds which he hates at Zouk w u? Cos he Q-ed up for drinks for u? any normal frenz can do that! Y do u allow someone to treat u this way?""

True... so true...

but when the head is clouded... no sense gets thru...
I believe time will tell me wat to do...

that's y the heading for the post today...
Practice makes perfect...

Sense as well...

I no longer take it so hard when he does his disappearing acts...
no longer take it so hard when he knows I'm alone n still fuck care...
Boat Quay n Clarke Quay has become my new familiar territory...
And I realise Sin is a really safe place for a girl to roam about in the dead of the nite...

And I can go home totally exhausted n jus go to sleep...
And wake up the next day hoping I can fuck care him like the way he did me...

Unfinished business... must still be finished one day.. the sooner the better...
WE must talk...

n then i can get my closure...

Meantime... I realised how important my frenz r to me...
You can be with them yet feel alone at the same time...
Its jus mere distraction from the current problem at hand...
But sharing takes the pressure away...

And when I come home in the dead of the nite n see a light on in my study room (my 2nd sis is a hardcore Maplestory gamer) I feel not so alone after all..

Maybe one day... sense will overtake me n help me decide wat's best for me...