Fever in Frankfurt.. Makin' n Breakin'

Yeah... wat do I expect...
When all I've been doing is drinking n smokin' n staying up til 10 in the mornings...

I stayed til lights on at Zouk last nite! (whoop... long time no do that)
Then got called up n packed n snoozed an hour b4 hopping on a 13 hr flight...
And I was still drunk n woozy when I reported...

sigh..

After 2 Dharmols n 4 episodes of Sex n The City...
I got to thinking..

What are relationships about... really???

Boy meets Girl...
Boy n Girl likes each other...
They exchange sweet texts... smoochy-woochy phonecalls...
Spend endless time talking n understanding each other...
Falling in love...

Some people need to be in love to do selfless super sweet acts... some dun...
But all the things that you do in a relationship all involve hell lots of time n effort.. n sometimes $

I find the hardest part of makin' a relationship is the getting to know each other...

All that time spent on chatting n canoodling n flirting...
The first time he hears you fart... to when it's no longer embarrassing but jus funny.
How unfamiliar sex becomes sweet sweet love makin'...
gosh....

Then the arguments come along....
The pettiness...
The not-necessarily seeing each others' points thingy n having to reconcile the differences...

At the end of the day...
Boy n Girl breaks up cos they can't see eye to eye anymore...
Or just can't sort things out..

How hard or easy the breakup is depends on individuals n their ex-partners I guess...

Do u take the 'you have to be cruel to b kind' approach??
Or u let the other down gently??

I really dun like the latter...

The Ray has been doing the latter...
He ignores my questions n texts n is so cold...

It makes me wonder again really...

Where did all the love go??
Where??????

How can one love another so much n then one day decide... 'ah.. dun talk to her/him liao'
'There's no need to work things out.... let's just fuck it...'

I can't ever do that...
Im freakin' soft hearted n I keep in touch with all my exes (maybe only 1 outcast)
Even the annoyin ones I still reciprocate with at least a 'hi' when they approach...

So I'm thinkin' now...

All that time n effort put into this relationship...
All heartfelt...
Was it worth it??

I'm so tired of going thru the whole process of relationships...

I was lookin' for someone to settle down with...
Was so happy when he told me he would wanna marry me in 2 years more... max...

No more long distance relationships..
No more 'what if's'

Since I started flying I knew I was ready for someone stable n nice n sweet n most importantly who loves me more than anything else to tie me down...

I'm so tired of belonging to nobody...
........................................................................................................................................

Anywoo...
Appreciate everyone's concern....
Some might think I'm attention whoring here... but really... THIS IS FUVKIN' HARD..

People close to me will know that I'm willing to forgive anything The Ray has done..
Right or wrong.. I dun think I can judge...
They know I have given him tons of benefit of the doubt...
N they all know I slowly becoming insane...
Trust, doubt, "true?/false?... did it really?? Yeah right It can't be... no no... that is definitely not possible"....
The real truth will always stay a mystery to me...
...............................................................................................................................................................

So yar lor...
R relationships just bout makin' ... then breakin'??
And the love between 2 people just.... diasppear into thin air with no residue left at all???
If the love doesn't disappear... where does it go???

Eeeks.. I hate mysteries... ;p