It might just be...

.... a year in limbo...
.... a year in dreamland...

Jus April last year... my blog was filled with happy entries of my new sweet sweet love n my new perspective in life...

I guess I took the bungee leap. off the side of a really tall building... without checking the safety strap...

I'm back from my week long...
Thank god I had a bunch of wacky flymates on the flight keeping me sane...
N hearing me whine...

Something therupetic bout whining to people u just met...
Cos yr frenz all hear til sian liao... hee hee..
With new people u can go on n on n get these whole new perspectives... ;p

Anyway...
I realised that love n relationships n family r tops on my priority list while going thru this..
I will never get sick of trying to work things out...as long as I'm still in love...


But he did...
3 magic words... "I am tired..." n "I wanna WORK".. (yeah... it's not "I wanna work Things Out")
Jus "I wanna work"
So that he won't have to think bout us...
Won't have to give me a straight answer...
running away...

Sigh... so work is his tops on his priority list...

I hate this... I really hate...
So nobody likes confrontation... but no one decent should run away from it for so long either...

But i also feel that we r beyond hope liao...
too many unhappy issues... too many things I forgave n not forgotten... turning bitter like bile inside...

Anyway Flozy.. thanks for the 5 languages of love thingy...
I identified myself as a mix of certain categories...
But the boy is not receptive at the moment cos he angry bout fuck knows wat...
And I'm so exhausted in trying to make my logic heard....

I'm tired... I just wanna be that happy fresh faced girl last April again...

I love him still... lots...
N can't bear to let go...

But he gave up on us first... n I have to stop clinging to the edge til my knuckles turn white...
Ciggies n alcohol making me look like an old lady le..
I swear I aged freaking 5 years in this 1 year...
The warning signs were all so clear... n I chose to ignore my instincts n bloody fall in love... argH#

Yes baby... the year had been a dream we have both awoken from already...
I just dunno...
How can something so sweet end so..... bad?