I'm 'Boing Boing' Happy... :)

I woke up this morning feeling really shitty....
One of those post break up thingy....

Then I went to grooming school n had to work on this miniature schnauzerXsilky which gave me a really hard time when I tried to pluck his ear hair.... -___-"

I decided that Schnauzers, Shih Tzus n Malteses R the most incorrigible dog clients...

They freaking Scream... (yes.. they scream in a banshee-like shrieks) when u do stuff they dun like u to.... especially when plucking ear hair n nail cutting... n only these 3 breeds need ear-hair plucking...
It's just painful struggling with them...

Oooohh... but there were many other students today... n many doggie clients...
There were a Husky!!, a Mini Goldie!! :))) (yee heee!), 2 shih tzus, 1 cocker, 2 schnauzers....
Of cos I was mostly delighted by the big doggies...
But I had no time/chance to play with them cos I was busy.... :(
And last to finish.....
By then the Husky n Mini(?) Goldie were sent back....

Then I felt shitty again after lesson...
Cos he had not tried to call or text me at all.....:(
Oh wells... it's a break../. break up after all... wat was I expecting??

Sob...
He dun care lor....
Perhaps he really stopped loving me le..
wat if... wat if... wat if he start seeing someone else when i'm still in love with him???
bleah bleah bleah went my crazy neurotic mind...

......................................................................................................................................................

Something unexpected happened when I was in the shower though...
It was like a light switch that went on...


It jus all came to me like a tidal wave lar...
A nice cool refreshing one...

I realised that it doesn't matter if he did something evil behind my back anymore...
like sleeping around soon after breaking up...
because if it's bound to happen...I can't do anything bout it...

I realised that it doesn't matter either if he realises at the end of the day tt he never loved me after all...
because I thought back n saw my own PMS-tic, neurotic, possessive self in my mind's mirror n shuddered n decided I won't love me too...

It's a weakness lor .... I lose sight of myself at certain points of any relationship I'm in... n my bad temper gets worse... my PMS gets scarier... I take longer to chill... I get angry n annoyed at every single little thing.... n I look back n realised it had happened in EVERY relationship of mine... *sheepish look* ;p

N so I tot... I won't be able to do anything bout the inevitable.... so I should stop thinking of the "What If"s... I remember the ex telling me it's a really bad habit of mine...

N also I tot... if dun have dun have lor... it's not meant to be...

N i also tot... eh... my plans for a solitary yoga retreat might just come through next year... :)
(tt kind where they force people to go vegetarian, take away our electronic items, wake us up at sunrise n tuck us in at sunset n bend n crack our sore bodies throughout the day w yoga kind... m i exaggerating?? my friend tell me have lei!)


N I KNOW...that breaking away from each other is a good idea cos we really did not know each other well to start with b4 jumping headlong in to an intense relationship....

Being friends would have been a better start...
I know cos I think I'm a really lovable friend...
And I think i'm really lovable friend cos i realised today tt my friends really do like me for the way i m....

Got this today from a long long time fren cum financial planner buddy from uni

"It's sunflowers girl!!... it should make u happy... think u need it :)"

I was so touched lar...
Receiving flowers when u r in a damp mood really is uplifting...
I felt sunny immediately.. :)))
V, thank you for clearing my murky thoughts!
Things r really really simple... Guys r really very simple... n I shouldn't be thinking it so complicated lar!


Then the chums called in to check on me...
Then the ex called to check in on me.. (Sorry I bit u so hard tt day when I was drunk... u said to take it out on you mah...;p)

OKie... maybe I m very melodramatic lar...
So stop nodding yr heads n 'arhm cheo' at me ... -_-

I'm gonna be fine... no no.. m already fine....
Even though this is the first time I'm doing this kinda break up... (the hard hearted no smses no calls type).
Guess I have to grow up one day...
...................................................................................................................

Whenever am stoning in bed will be staring at my fave poster...
Can like stare at it forever..

It's damn old la..

The Rif gave it to me during Xmas like 6 years ago cos I said that I was really captivated by the kiss models Mark Vanderloo n Esther Canadas were sharing in there....

They really looked like they were alot in love...
It's all in that closed eyes, her hand on his chest n i dunno wat else tt made the shot turn out that way...at least for me....

Then i found out that they were an item n even got married.... hmmm
Then I found out that they stayed married for less than a year only... -___-


Then I found a photo of me n him....

Which kinda made me feel the same way when i look at it...

I couldn't really remember wat I was feeling when that pic was taken...
But I remembered I din think too much... n I was jus happy...

Hmmmmm...

I'm sorry I made u fall outta love with me...
Please just stay happy....